


the truth untold

by flowerhyunjins



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, but fluff at the end, but only kinda, i hope this wasnt a flop uwu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-05-26 15:23:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15003761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowerhyunjins/pseuds/flowerhyunjins
Summary: in which seungmin only realized what he's had since the beginning after he loses it.





	the truth untold

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Atumun15](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Atumun15/gifts).



truth be told, jisung's loved seungmin since day 1. the only problem with that was that seungmin didn't love jisung. rather, he loved someone else.

_hwang hyunjin._

now that came as no surprise to jisung when felix told him one night. no, hyunjin was gorgeous, witty, intelligent, everything anyone could ever want in a partner, so seungmin fell hard and fast, all while jisung watched quietly. but, of course he never said anything. why would he? there was nothing he could do. he just watched and listened to seungmin ramble on about the guy; the guy who didn't love him back. not in the romantic sense at least. they both knew that. even felix and chan did. seungmin knew that chasing hyunjin was like chasing the clouds, but he carried on anyway.

jisung just watched, and listened.

he didn't have to do the listening part much anymore, though. as seungmin fell, he drifted away as well. away from jisung. away from the walls they've built together to keep the both of them safe. seungmin broke those walls to build a newer, better, but less stable one with someone else. he broke those walls down, forgetting jisung was there, and forgetting the boy who had once helped him build them.

so jisung watched as seungmin grew colder. they used to be able to spend so many nights up together, laughing and giggling at nothing until the ungodly hours of the morning. the once warm aura of their shared room turned to nothing but ashes. the only people who were able to replenish the light were felix and chan.

maybe its the little things in life that make you fall in love. maybe jisung fell in love with seungmin as he watched the younger watch the water fountains at the stream in wonder. maybe he fell in love with seungmin as he went through mountains and mountains of clothes just trying to find ones that seemed to match while jisung threw on whatever was on the top of the pile. maybe he fell in love with seungmin bit by bit, over time, and was so blind to notice until seungmin was slowly slipping out of his grasp. maybe he still fell in love with seungmin as he looked at hyunjin with stars in his eyes because jisung wished he was the one being looked at that way by seungmin.

but jisung stopped wishing too hard. he sat, and watched, and listened. it's what he did best.

"so i told him like, hey, you should probably pay more attention to jisung," chan spoke, "but he was just like, yeah hyung i will."

"that's it?" felix, the only other person in the room, asked, "just that? there was no elaboration this time?"

chan nodded. "i'm sorry jisung, i tried."

jisung shrugged. "it's okay."

"it's okay?"

jisung nodded.

"n-no 'i'm gonna kill him' or 'it's bros before hoes, he's an asshole' or 'he probably hates me for being so clingy'?" felix asked, confused at the sudden change of behaviour.

jisung shook his head, getting up to leave the living room. "not tonight. i'll see you guys in the morning. felix, make sure chan gets at least 7 hours of sleep."

"but that's what he got yesterday!"

"it's better than the 20 minutes last week!"

after jisung turns the corner and the two of them heard the bedroom door shut, felix turned to chan. "you think he'll be okay?"

chan sighed. "he'll make it somehow. i'm sure of it."

~

jisung gets up early the next morning. way too early. he knows somethings going to go wrong. he woke up too soon.

this was seungmin's time to wake up.

jisung walked into the kitchen to be met with the sight of seungmin, still in his pajamas and bed hair, frying eggs for, of course, himself. jisung doesn't know why he didn't turn around at the sound of oil crackling on a pan. he's made a mistake. an awfully _terrible_ one. he stood frozen in the doorway for what felt like hours before seungmin turned around and almost dropped the plate.

"jesus," he snapped in surprise, bringing jisung back to his senses, "don't scare me like that."

"i-i'm sorry," jisung said quietly, rushing past to quickly cook himself some ramen and get out of there as soon as possible.

"yeah whatever," he heard seungmin respond.

jisung swallows, processing the harsh words and the harsh tone. all of this would be better if jisung realized why they drifted apart. if jisung could be able to come to terms with what caused it.

if jisung wasn't so damn in love with seungmin.

there were no words being exchanged between the two former best friends for the rest of the morning. not even when jeongin came in, immediately detecting the tension between the two and making conversation with at least one of them to make the atmosphere more bearable. when jisung's ramen was almost done, felix came in and immediately helped him with the food, telling him to just go and sit at the table first. jisung does as told but isn't quite sure where to sit. its a table for four, six if you managed to squeeze the plates and bowls in. he had to pick whether he wanted to sit next to seungmin and across jeongin, or across seungmin. eventually, he sits next to him, but makes sure there's at least _some_ distance between the two of them.

jisung doesn't do most of this because he was afraid of seungmin. he did most of this because he thought seungmin would be happier that way.

"so hyung, what were you and channie hyung and felix hyung talking about last night?" jeongin poked.

jisung smiled, "good question. did you hear any of it?"

jeongin shook his head. "i wouldn't even if i really wanted to."

"that's good," jisung complimented, "it was nothing important, innie. don't worry. we just couldn't sleep."

jisung practically felt seungmin tense up beside him when he told jeongin it was nothing important. he managed to avoid glancing at seungmin thanks to felix coming in with his ramen and a bowl of cereal for himself, sitting next to jeongin.

"morning," he greeted, bright smile instantly on his face.

seungmin slightly lights up at this. "hey lix."

suddenly, they heard quick footsteps down the hall, and he next thing they know is that chan's head popped in through the doorway. "what's brewing?"

seungmin choked. "sorry, that greeting's not my cup of tea."

chan snapped his fingers then made finger guns at the boy. "nice one."

jisung's jaw just fell open at how painfully _embarassing_ the mere thought of taking chan out into public was. he wondered how felix had done it so many times. anyway, as usual, chan quickly prepared his toast and didn't even bother with a plate. it left crumbs everywhere, but that was minho's job. he could take care of that when he woke up. for now, jisung had to deal with the yet still lingering, painfully significant tension in the room.

"so," chan started awkwardly, "sleep well last night?"

felix silently facepalmed as no one answered. chan just smiled, one that screamed for help. jisung sat and ate his ramen.

"i'll go wake minho hyung," felix spoke quickly, putting his empty bowl in the sink.

"i'm coming with you! i have to wake hyunjin!" jeongin rushed, throwing his glass into the sink.

jisung's head snapped to chan.

"i'm waking changbin," chan squeaked, stuffing the rest of his toast into his mouth and sprinting out of the room.

seungmin said nothing to jisung as he placed his plate into the sink a few minutes after chan left, walking out of the room probably to wake woojin.

jisung was left alone.

~

"he feels guilty, that's why."

"stop saying things you dont know are true!"

"well what am i supposed to do? not make him feel a little better?!"

"no! do something other than lying, maybe?!"

"i'm trying my best already lix!"

jisung sucked in a sharp breath, immediately silencing the two that were bickering. jisung just sighed at the end, falling back down on his bed and feeling more exhausted than ever, despite it only being 2 in the afternoon.

"maybe i should just give up and move on," jisung suggested.

"this is a whole friendship we're talking about," chan reminded, "you cant just move on. you've been through too much with seungmin just to throw it all away."

"he's thrown it away already, hyung," jisung whispered, his own words paining him, "way before i even realized he did."

chan and felix stayed quiet, at a loss of words. had jisung really given up? that easily? especially on seungmin?

"maybe he'll be happy if i do the same," jisung mumbled, pulling the covers over himself and closing his eyes, trying to lull himself to sleep.

chan and felix shared worried looks with each other. there was a lot of hand gestures and mouthing to replace verbal communication, but in the end, both got the signal that maybe jisung just wanted to be left alone, so they left the room. its quiet, but jisung doesn't feel at peace. there was a whole hurricane inside of him, destroying nothing but himself. of course he'd never be at peace.

the second jisung thinks he's going to fall asleep, someone opens his door.

"sung?" a soft voice called out.

_seungmin._

jisung lifts his head to turn towards the door. sure enough, seungmin stood in the doorway, body partly in the room already. jisung said nothing, as he laid his head back down on his pillow and shut his eyes, praying seungmin would go away bevause he was the last person jisung wanted to see right now.

"jisung, we need to talk," seungmin repeated.

"oh yeah?" jisung spat, "now you say we need to talk?"

"jisung please-"

"no," jisung told him firmly, sitting upright on the bed, "why now? out of all times?what about all those times chan told you to reconnect? what about all those times felix asked you to hang out with us?"

"i made a mistake," seungmin stated, "at first i didn't realize it, but as soon as i did, it was too late, and i didn't know what to do."

"so you thought _acting rude towards me_ was the solution? you really are a coward," jisung scoffed.

the room was silent once again. seungmin took the insult and accepted it. he was a coward for avoiding jisung like that, but he was afraid. everything was falling apart. what was he supposed to do? he'd been deathly terrified of facing jisung's potential reaction, when in reality, jisung wouldn't have acted this way if seungmin had attempted to make amends earlier. by now, it seems that it had been too late.

"well i'm sorry? i apologized and acknowledged my mistakes, what else do you want me to say?" seungmin snapped.

jisung got off the bed, blood boiling as he walked closer to seungmin. "well maybe i'm angry, seungmin. you ignored me for _so long_ , just so you could go run off with hyunjin. did you ever consider how i felt? maybe how i've always felt?"

"what do you mean?"

"well maybe i fucking love you, asshole," jisung spat, then left the room.

this time, seungmin was alone, with only his thoughts to accompany him. seungmin would begin to think about jisung's words as the latter stormed off into the living room in disbelief. not at how seungmin reacted to what he said, but more on how seungmin truly never considered how he felt. maybe this time, jisung really believed seungmin hated him. compared to all the other times, he silently hoped his assumptions were wrong, but this time, everything was laid out right in front of him. it's right there in his face as if it was mocking him, taunting him wih the truth. jisung just wants to escape it all.

"jisung," seungmin called out from the hallway he just ran down, "wait."

"what?" jisung snapped, turning around to face seungmin. "here to feed me with more lies? tell me you're sorry so i can run back into your dumb arms just to get hurt again?"

"no," seungmin said, "all the other times i fell in love, i knew, and i told you. this time, i didn't tell you, and i don't know why."

"stop that," jisung laughed humourlessly, "you told me you liked hyunjin. stop."

"no you idiot," seungmin rolled his eyes, "i never told you i loved you."

a dramatic silence fell upon them once again. felix almost screamed behind the door in which he was eavesdropping with chan from. the two listened intently, wondering how this night will end, and what it will be for the rest of them.

"you're lying," jisung hissed, "youre saying that because you feel bad. you don't love me, seungmin. you love hyunjin, you hate me."

"i don't hate you!" seungmin exploded, "how many times do i have to say that to get it through your thick skull?! i was _afraid_. i thought i was too late."

"you were late to every single hang out we planned," jisung stated, "i wouldn't be surprised if you were."

slowly, seungmin understood the joke. a smile slowly crept onto both of their faces, and soon they ended up on the floor of the living room, laughing like heroine addicts. felix and chan furrowed their eyebrows together and shared a look, wondering what the hell happened.

however, even behind the thin wooden plank held to the doorframe by its hinges, felix and chan knew seungmin and jisung are going to be alright. maybe not so much as they expected, but it was better than the tension they've been through the past few weeks.

"wait hyung, what about hyu-"

"it's fine," chan cut felix off, "hyunjin doesn't like seungmin back, remember?"

a wave of realization suddenly hit felix as he gasped out loud.

"HYUNJIN'S AROMANTIC!"


End file.
